that is,

a shout-out on the interstices of music, food, life, and more

26 July 2006

willy pete vs. cluster munitions

in that yesterday's headlines responded to the Human Rights Watch call for the immediate cessation of indiscriminate weapons like cluster munitions, i wonder why the press and hrw are prioritizing cluster munitions over other violations of international humanitarian law.

in particular, a friend mentioned the use of chemical weapons about ten days ago and naharnet reported the use of phosphorus bombs (16 july) and implosion bombs, though the claims remained unverified until last Sunday. not sure if testimonial from a doctor necessarily verify the use of phosphorus bombs by iaf but there's some press articles and video footage of two kids with chemical burns. as for implosion bombs, i think i heard two of them at tayyoune square on the night of 13 july.

phosphorus bombs are an incendiary issue. the us never signed a UN protocol that prohibited their use (1980) and the us army continues their use in the iraq war, e.g. the following quote issued in nov 2005 regarding Fallujah:

Yes, it was used as an incendiary weapon against enemy combatants. When you have enemy forces that are in covered positions that your high explosive artillery rounds are not having an impact on and you wish to get them out of those positions, one technique is to fire a white phosphorus round into the position because the combined effects of the fire and smoke - and in some case the terror brought about by the explosion on the ground - will drive them out of the holes so that you can kill them with high explosives (i.e. "shake & bake").
— Lieutenant-Colonel Barry Venable, Dept. of Defense spokesman

so hrw isn't interested in waging a battle on chemical warfare that imbricates ongoing us actions

but cluster munitions? these are a timely issue. norway gave a moratorium on them last month and they're up for debate at the UN's Convention on Conventional Weapons. they are produced largely within israel, and are not imported from the us like smart bombs.

so the priority given to cluster munitions is a strategy that not only exposes iaf's imprecision and offers means to tabulate the toll on lebanese civilians, but is also a way to stay clear of us interests. if there's anything humane that comes from this crisis, i hope that it serves as a tipping point to a ban on cluster munitions.

22 July 2006

theatrics of speech, rituals of theater

before i leave for a camping trip in north idaho and take a much-needed 20-hour respite (you know it's time when a friend in beirut tells you to relax)...

what's up with the rhetorical "birth pangs of a new Middle East" and conflating pro-life policy with Mideast foreign policy? Peter Laarman makes a good stab at this when he suggests that Rice is throwing a bone to the Christian Zionists, and the international press has snarfed this like the dogs they are (sorry to journalist friends!), but I wonder just how far Tony Snow will take these pretty words. any thoughts, dear readers (all two of you!)?

and i have a petty complaint to match:
while some bemoan the cancellation of cultural events in northern israel, the fairouz concert in baalbeck was cancelled because her palace was bombed out. yes, i'm still upset that i couldn't make good on my tickets to "sah el-nom"!! dude, this was the equivalent of a madonna concert!

if you want to check out someones whose pens are making real statements, please visit and visit often the blogs of artists and friends raed yassin and mazen kerbaj. these are spaces to watch.

Arithmetic of Relief

Official word announces that head UN do-gooder Jan Egeland is starting his negotiations with a request for 5 humanitarian corridors into Lebanon.

In his press conference, Egeland responded to a question addressing Hezbollah's assurances of cooperation with relief efforts and claims that:

"at present, his Office had only indirect contacts with Hizbollah, but, of course, it was necessary 'to reach out to them to say that they should not specialize in undermining the security of their own people, but enable the agencies to help the civilian population'."

Sounds to me like Alan Dershowitz is sitting at Egeland's negotiating table.

Here's the arithmetic of relief I've gathered so far.
Official requests for aid corridors:
1. Coastal road from Aarida in the north to Beirut
2, 3, 4. Entry points for sea cargo at Tripoli, Beirut and Tyre
5. Rafic Hariri international airport (Beirut), for international and domestic transport of supplies. Note this airport is currently non-operative since the number of daily bombs exceeds the number of daily flights.

Actual movements and actual aid:
- Corridor #1: lifting of the naval blockade for 22 (Fri) + 14 (Sat) tons of aid at Beirut's port
- Spain offers 2.5 million, and Russia and Jordan offer amount TBD.
- Jordan also offers a corridor, access point TBD.

Let's not forget those fleeing to Syria. WHO reports a camp of at least 500 Lebanese refugees in Damascus. The airport must be a zoo. I wonder if the ATM is working at all-- both ATMs were out when I tried to get USD a week ago and the Commercial Bank of Syria representative just shrugged his shoulders when I asked when it would be working. Another reason for Syria's switch to the Euro?

"From the US, with love"

I may have bitched about not waiting for my government to get me out of Beirut, but now I can catch a redeye back to Lebanon. Hold on to your horses, it's going to be a wild ride with Dubya.

21 July 2006

ACTION: updated

Agenda:
1. Petition Bush and your representatives.
There's two letters to take action on, 1) petition for immediate ceasefire addressed to our prez, and 2) letter to your representative asking support for Kucinich's Resolution (H Con Res 450) for ceasefire.

2. Donate, donate, donate!!!
Seems that it's more efficient to donate funds rather than supplies, for reasons I'll explain in a moment. Mercy Corps and Lebanese Red Cross participate in TANs (transnational advocacy networks) and were the first relief orgs to mobilize in Lebanon by means of preexisting field programs. Mercy Corps concentrates on the displaced refugee crisis and Lebanese Red Cross is well, the national relief org (and not linked with Tayyar!). THEY NEED YOUR MONEY! and compassion, generosity, recognition....

As for supplies, the Mercy Corps offices in Portland, OR are currently closed for the weekend so I don't know how that works. And the Lebanese Red Cross told me that they are receiving meds, food, etc. through the International Red Cross in Geneva, which purchases standardized supplies and will not accept in-kind donations.

Please please make a tax-deductible donation now and don't wait for the Bush/Clinton/Bush tipping point for humanitarian support.

I'll keep the other NGOs listed because they totally need support.
-----------------------------------

1) Al Huda Society for Social Care is a civic non profit organization based and active in Beirut. The Society was established in 1987 during the Lebanese civil war. It has been active in providing social care for underprivileged families in Beirut, responding to the needs of each era. Its activities included launching a sponsorship program for children, who were orphaned during the 1975-1990 war; providing a day care services center for children; organizing summer camps for children of the occupied zone in South Lebanon (before 2000); providing assistance and relief for internally displaced families during the Israeli attack on Lebanon in April 2006; and establishing Nasma Learning and Resource Centre for students in public schools in the Ras Beirut area.
In light of the Israeli attack on Lebanon at this time, thousands of families have fled the most afflicted areas to become refugees in other parts of their country, including Beirut . Al-Huda Society has redirected its resources to cater to the needs of as many families as possible. Currently it is responsible for the welfare of around 200 displaced families in the Ras Beirut area. It is distributing daily rations to each family with the cost of each ration being 15 USD. The Society aspires to increase the number of families in its care, as the number of families fleeing the Israeli bombardment is continuously increasing. The essential condition for achieving this goal is increasing resources, namely financial.

In this respect all assistance is needed. Please send your donations to:
Account Name: Al Houda Society Account No. 02 43020 047465
Bank: Bankmed Branch: Makdessi Branch Via: Bank of New York , New York
A/C No. 8900057343 UID: CH035040 SWIFT: MEDLLBBX


2) http://www.cicr.org/donation

3) FARAh EL AATA (OFFRE JOIE) mobile: (+961) 3 719 579

address:nazaret school and sagesse schoolclemenceau streetbeirut

account holder: FARAH EL AATA (OFFRE JOIE)

account number: 586 816 bank: AUDI BANK

SWIFT: AUDBLBBX


4) SOCIETE SAINT VINCENT DE PAUL

Contacts: jad.bitar@hec.ca or joanne@karkour.com

Account holder: Société de Saint-Vincent de Paul

Bank: Banque Audi

Account number: US$: 088587/461/002/009/39

SWIFT : AUDBLBBX


5) Caritas LibanTel: 01/499767- 01/483305

E-Mail: executive@caritas.org.lb

Website: www.caritas.org.lb

To donate:Banque Nationale de Paris Intercontinentale(BNPI)Compte en $ ou L.L : 136,932,001,24Société Générale de Banque au Liban (SGBL)Compte en $: 001,004,360,208002,01,1Compte en L.L.: 001,001,360,208002,01,6Banque Libano Française (BLF)Compte en $: 215974,70Compte en L.L.: 215974,70FransabankCompte en $ : 327924,85Compte en L.L.: 327924,85


=== Needed supplies =======================

1) FOOD (Priority)Pasta (Spaghetti)FlourBreadRiceSugarOilCanned FoodPowder MilkCereals (lentils, beans, peas, …)Pasteurized cheese (picon, smeds….)WATER

2) UTILITIESBlanketsSleeping Mats (PRIORITY)Cooking potsDishMetal spoonMugCookersGas containersCandlesMatches

3) HYGIENESoap BarMulti-purpose detergentSanitary towels for womenToilet paperSoft tissuesDiapers for children from 0-2 years oldToothpasteToothbrushShampoo

4) MEDICALMulti-vitaminsIronMulti-purpose analgesic (Panadol, Tylenol)Sterile bandagesAlcoholMercurochromeBandagesAntiseptic lotion


20 July 2006

there is no present tense

if only.
if only we could collapse all of NOW and exist in a future where it's all been said and done, it's time to assess, it's time to (re)build, it's time to be nostalgic.

i'm starting to do that already. i'm looking past the topography of IAF bombing and just assuming that suburbs and villages are obliterated. when is the moment when the destruction begins to be arbitrary? when it's a matter of 75 fuckin deaths and not 57?! when its the "bloodiest day" but who the fuck cares because tomorrow will tell me that more children are NOW corpses.

i'm angry. the media blitz, the political positioning we are all so familiar with began days ago. i participated in it. i'm not proud of that. but at one point it was necessary, and now it is arbitrary.

i rejected the laura ingram show today-- really lit into the production assistant-sleuth. my grandma blew her fuse when i told her they called: "i hate laura ingram! she's like that fox guy o'reilly who makes people sound like dummies. she's so republican!" i want to be like you when i'm 84, grandma.

what i mean to say is that i feel totally helpless in this present about being able to do anything for this present. i meant to compose a letter to congresspersons and circulate it around. i meant to contact humanitarian relief groups and look into coordinating fundraising efforts in my hometown. but then i started to read naharnet again and then a friend called, and my mom wants to go to lunch... and participation in systemic rituals seems meaningless.

what am i supposed to be doing right now?

Courage to Refuse

To TV producer Itzik Shabbat,
May there be many who follow in your path of dissent.

Welcome home stories

Here's the fancy version of the evac story, on pA19 in today's Washington Post.

and a hearty welcome back home to the FOBs of this morning-- love the photo op but really, The Daily Star?!

19 July 2006

searching for my compass

Fox News called about an hour ago to ask for an interview after catching wind of the Spokesman-Review article. I rejected the interview on the (familiar) grounds that however I write up my experiences, Fox will distort the story for their own purposes.

As I rationalized this to self, a friend based in Achrafieh (Beirut) leveled a charge at me that essentially I may have committed a similar crime of representation in my evacuation narrative.

So I'm not going to delete this narrative from the blog (see 1 of 100,000) but rather rewrite it in ways that don't shove anyone into a cookiecutter. The last thing on earth that I want to do, or intend to do, is to reinforce prejudices and assumptions.

And even though this blog is a public reckoning of self, I hope it's not all about me.

press link for evac

Here's today's press version of the evac story, featured in the Spokesman-Review, my hometown paper. They did a great job, only I want to add that I couldn't have made it to Chicago without a great friend and colleague in the field-- thank you to she who drinks Almaza!

The pic of me and my mom turned out really nicely. (You have to scroll down the index a bit.)

lebanese-israeli dialogue

i woke up today and had no clue where i was. i woke up in the dual, muttering "...ein." i felt like i was on the go, like i was in a temporary room. flashes of past rooms whipped through my head. i tried to focus, feeling more the bleariness of my eyes than recognizing any of the furniture around me. what?! i don't know this layout, it doesn't recall any point of reference, i am still fumbling. i pat the mattress beside me, did i share the bed with anyone? noone is there. i hear shuffling in the lit area behind the door. i close my eyes and audition the room in milan, consider my roof in reken el-din, am i still in an arabic home? with a jolt i realize that i am home. i start to sob. i am not in beirut or damascus. i cannot recognize that i am home? i no longer feel that home is home? i smell arabic coffee in my head and feel the marble floors under my feet. and i remember that my brother has an early morning construction job today, in spokane. it must be 4:30am in washington state.

i begin to tabulate where i've been sleeping for the past week:
Wednesday: rented room in Reken el-Din, Damascus
Thursday: hallway in apt, Tayyoune Rondpoint, Beirut
Friday: children's playroom in mansion, Achrafieh, Beirut
Saturday: in transit (Damascus airport - Kassabji restaurant/bar - Reken el-Din - Damascus airport)
Sunday: b&b, village outside Milan
Monday: friend's place, Ukrainian Village, Chicago
Tuesday: parent's home, Spokane, Washington

it's not so bad when you look at. if you compare experience, i'm not even in the top 5,000,000 for those who flee war. but i refuse to compare experiences because this war is a devastation for many, many, many.

friends and their loved ones live on both sides of the israeli-lebanese border. i am talking to lebanese friends every day and emailing israeli friends every day. we are listening to each other, giving space when emotions offend intellectual reason, and empathizing with civilian tragedy. every time i read an email from israel or talk to someone in lebanon i think there is some opening, a gap of hope in a war that seems to be characterized by the deliberate constriction of the means and space to live.

check out this chat forum, a dialogue between lebanese and israelis.

18 July 2006

1 of 100,000 border crossings

Looking forward to the final leg home on Tues morning, and ravishly consuming US media in the meanwhile.

There's a lot of shit to respond to in the public sphere, but I really want to call attention to the impotent response by our government in evacuating US nationals. As of yesterday, there's a decent number of articles that have started to cover this story. But the more details we have from the ground, the better.

Before going any further, please you all, take a moment to vote::
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13905498/

then notice the ridiculous response. As of 6:45am on Tuesday, it's split 47/53!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't get me wrong, I'd pay any price for evacuation... see below.

15 July 2006
Achrafieh, Beirut

I went to bed about 1:30am early Sat, expecting to be shocked awake by the early morning IAF strikes. But thank god for a relatively peaceful night in which only two rockets fell, far far away from my slumber, deep inside the childhood home of a musician friend. If there's any refuge in the city, this was the place to be-- a playroom for kids in the deep chambers of a 150 y.o. enormous mansion tucked into the Maronite Christian area of Achrafieh in East Beirut.

I woke nervously as the most immediate task was to cross from East Beirut to West Beirut, from Achrafieh to Ain el Mresse. The night before, we had crossed the opposite direction and realized that the bridge, which connects these two sectors of Beirut that fought each other during Lebanon's civil war, was a potential target. It was one of those first realizations that anything could be a possible target and not just those areas, neighborhoods, and infrastructures that are more or less trafficked by Shiite Lebanese. The crossing was simple, though the cab driver was rather clueless about where to pick me up and where to drop me off. Luckily I know the city pretty well by now.

I walked into the Seaside Apartments (where I'd stayed during my first Beiruti visit two years ago!), expecting to leave momentarily for the Tripoli-Aleppo border. No news of any bombings up north, so it seemed like the plan was a go-ahead. But that was wishful thinking.

The first major decision was whether to stay and wait to be evacuated by the US government or go forward with private, and potentaiilly more risky, services. I'd heard the night before from my mom -- we called each other constantly by cell -- that the US would pay any evacuation costs, and that there were would be an "inevitable evacuation" of 25,000 US nationals. Pretty words. A friend called her contact at the US embassy in Beirut, who flatly informed us that they hadn't started working on any plan for evacuation. There was no way anything major would get started by Monday.

But if the border wasn't safe, what if bombings started at any moment? We heard of a water source being hit in Aqra, and that Israel bombed the border leading into Homs, Syria (far closer to Damascus than our original route and recommended to me by a Syrian friend). To compound all this, our driver just didn't show up.

Excuse #1, 8:30am: Tired from trip to Syria and needs to sleep. Needs 1 1/2 hours.
Excuse #2, 10:45am: Getting up. Needs to shower.
Excuse #3, 12:00pm: On the way.
Excuse #4, 12:45pm: On the way.
Excuse #5, 1:20pm: On the Corniche.

You can imagine our confused reactions -- does he know something about the security situation that we don't? Is this a Lebanese way of saying, no fuckin way you crazy foreigners?!?! Or rather, since I'm getting $1200 from you all, I can take a beauty nap. Or is it better to travel later in the day so that the border crossing is easier, or, more rushed and therefore fewer questions, more bribes? At this point, there was no guarantee by the Syrian authorities that they would permit evacuees into the border. And, we were traveling with a family of five (parents, two kids, domestic help) who didn't have visas.

I was also deliberating going to the public transport hub, Charles Helou station, and grabbing a bus/shared taxi to the border. I had a multiple entry visa and my passport was speckled with many border crossings from earlier this spring/summer. Surely I'd get through. I also didn't want to wait for evacuation because all my belongings -- computer, violin, research materials -- were sitting in my apartment in Damascus.

At 2pm, Michel arrived. He owns Prestige Taxi, a fleet of 73 cars who are making some pretty pennies off this crisis as they navigate the country with fleeing foreigners as carriage. We climbed into the minivan and 4door sedan and set off up north. Whie we were packing, a bomb went off, and two others followed as we hit the autostrade towards Dora.

Then we pulled off to get sandwiches. WHT?!?!?!! the f*&*!! I don't know whether it was the drivers, the two adorable kids who proved to be total sports for the ride, or whatnot but yea, we spent 30 minutes at the Wooden Bakery in Dora. 30 precious minutes.

Pulling out of the parking lot, Michel didn't rejoin the northbound traffic. He turned inland, towards the mountains, where few cars were headed. And we went ballistic. The road was empty, probably because it headed straight for the Beqaa valley, which is one of the two main regional targets by the IAF. Michel was taking us to the Beirut-Damascus highway which was under constant bombardment!!!

We called frantically to the other car -- how could "Madam" (the professor who originally ordered the cars) rationalize this? We interrogated Michel -- why why why? Meanwhile both cars sped up the curvy mountainside and I swear I expected to see James Bond 007 pass us on our left.

Instead, Qatari diplomat vehicles passed us. We fell silent when Michel pointed out that we were taking the same route as the Qatar Embassy, whose UN ambassador Nassir al-Nasser sponsored last week's security council resolution on Gaza, VETOED by the States.

The scenery was gorgeous. Cedars, whisps of fog, alpine slopes. And we commented, two American grad students and a professor in the back seat, on how we might remember this trip in the future, how we might recall the calmness of terror.

We summited the Chouf mountains and before us spread the vast valley of the Beqaa. I'd never been this far south before, only passed on the Beirut-Damascus highway which runs through a skinnier section of the valley to the north. We passed the mixed village of Zahle, which is the hometown of some singers that I hope to work with. And descended into the Beqaa.

And found out that the valley was bombed but one hour earlier.

Can I just pause and suspend this story for a moment, and say how incredibly wonderful my companions (who will remain anonymous for the time being) were!! Really, everybody kept their cool and stayed calm, alert, tough, rational, didn't break down into hysterics that might have tipped us all over the edge or at the very least increased our exposure to the skies.

We could smell the bombings in the Beqaa. Certainly wasn't the sheep we passed on the road! Michel was decidedly nervous now, compared to earlier when he actually slept in the passenger's seat! We shot past gerbil drivers inching down the main road but then got lost in the center of the valley and took directions from a man whose daughter was slung across his back and dangled with open mouth, open eyes, and frizzed-out hair like she was the day's catch. We made a u-turn and went back to the center of town where a cheery 11-year old shaabi pointed the other direction and said, "Bye Bye!"

Dancing through the Beqaa. This was supposed to be my fieldwork on the debke, not a way to describe an evac route!!

Finally we hit the homestretch and Michel pressed the pedal to 140km. We tensed as this is the moment that we're really considered moving targets. Then you won't believe what loomed ahead but this fat taxi with an overloaded rear, a friggin bus next to her, and a TRACTOR on the other side who decided to turn onto the road right in front of us. Michel screamed on the brakes and we let loose a torrent of curses in Arabic that made us proud.

Yea, the story ends well. We got to the border. I immediatley received a text that the border was just bombed ten minutes ago. I think you all have heard about it, but later when I was speaking to Syrians, they didn't realie that the bomb actually fell on Syrian territory, on an army base just inside the border. We didn't have to wait long at either the Lebanese departures station or the Syrian arrival station (two visa processes) thanks to some serious bribing.

The economics of the package turned out to be USD 150 pp plus 50 in bribes. Compare that with the $300 US evac offer!

tbc...

Recognizing war in beirut

I'm pasting a recent email to friends, sent on 14 July 2006.

Dear friends,

I want to write a few quick words from this internet cafe in Beirut. First off, my current plan is to leave Beirut tomorrow morning (Sat) via cab up the coastal highway and depart Lebanon through the Tripoli-Aleppo border, IF Israel does not bomb the coastal highway tonight. Luckily there's a "pay-as-you-can" spot for me in a cab hired by a professor from the States-- lucky because current fares are upwards of $600 for the 90 minute ride. Then I'll bus/cab it down to Damascus and assess the next steps, e.g. whether to leave the Middle East now or continue studies in Syria.

In general, the US Embassy and AUB recommend for Americans to stay put. Most Lebanese are waiting out this period til Monday before making major decisions, in order to see if this crisis will abate or continue to escalate into a full-blown ME war.

Last night was terrifying. Israel threw seven bombs into Beirut, though I heard only five because a couple were released in quick succession. Really, I've never experienced fear like this before. There were two different kind of bombs and right when I became accustomed to the pattern of aircraft noise-whistling-explosion, a "silent bomb" was released that is even more terrifying. The bomb stills the air and a precise and sobering explosion replaces the vacuum of silence. Then the smaller M-6 plane flies overhead to assess the situation. The friend that I stayed with last night predicted exactly how many bombs and in what succession-- the situation is familiar to Beirutis.

We stayed in an apt at the edge of the southern suburbs and when we got up in the morning, New TV and CityTV reported that one bomb was a five minutes walk from where we were sleeping, and another hit a bridge also not far from the apartment. We slept in the hallway with a candle in case the electricity went out (it did) and b/c the corridor offered the most structural support.

Nothing like picking up a few war techniques from the Lebanese. I now know how to flush the toilet while preserving the maximum amount of water. and a friend just leaned over and promised to show me how to clean a AK-47 before I leave town (and told me to email this to all you :-). Makeshift industries are picking up quick as people shift into familiar war mode-- gas is available by queuing or by street peddlers who shuttle canisters by means of horse-and-wagon. People rest in the afternoon because it's damn hot during the day and who can sleep in the pre-dawn hours of bombing.

What's most absurd about all this is that I voluntarily chose to enter Beirut yesterday. I moved to Damascus last week in order to do an intesive language program there. And had plans to return to Beirut to a play by the famous Lebanese singer Fairouz (equivalent of tics to Radiohead or Madonna) for this weekend, but now hte play's been cancelled since Israel hit Baalbeck in the Beqaa valley. So anyways I took off from Syria yesterday and crossed into Lebanon and landed at a music concert. You could see the Israeli naval blockade from the gallery.

The border was ludicrous-- about 500 cars and buses in standstill traffic, from SUVs loaded up with families and suitcases on the roof, to Saudis readjusting their tourist plans, and then some guys just walking with bags across the border, taking chances that there's transport on the other side. For those of us crazy enough to be going against this traffic, we had to blare and bleep our way through this traffic because the road turned into a one-way street and there was no passage for the taxi. I asked one woman at the lebanese arrival station why she was going in and she answered that she (jordanian) just married a lebanese man five days ago so she's with him no matter what. She gave me a big hug when I told her she was crazy. No one asked me why I was entering (nor did I receive any grief as a US national) which is good because I'm not sure I had a tangible concrete reason. My fellow taximates were in good spirits the whole ride and decided to use me as a bodyguard if any offensive forces approach-- we have an American onboard! (of course i keep my full identity low-profile)

Anyways that road was bombed a few hours later.

I'll write again from Syria. We'll be glued to the TV tonight and hope for minimal action.

Thanks to all those who emailed and sent their love and I really don't want to worry anyone. I hope this email alleviates some anxiety-- I'm perfectly allright as is everyone I know and love. Life has stopped momentarily in Beirut but will hopefully pick up again next week, at least we all hope for this.

With love